I was naked, for the first time ever in front of someone who’s nor my lover or a doctor.
How could I end up in that situation, naked and touched by a man who have no love or medical interest with me ?
This was yesterday, it was my first ever photoshoot and body painting naked.
Everything started 6 months ago, when we decided with my associate to stop working together on Vivelesrondes. At that time I knew I wanted to continue my work with body positivism and not just by being behind the scene but also by taking action and putting myself in the first line.
In fact, it can look kind of easy to say to people they can change their life, do whatever they want, wear bikini with a fat body and have a beautiful body whatever the size, because what’s important is attitude and the light you bring around you.
But let’s be honest, words can sometimes be juste words, so I decided that it was time for me to get out of the shadow and show that my actions are true to my words !
It’s incredible how sometime, when you decide to open yourself and you’re going in the right direction, things can come to you naturally.
At the end of February, was giving a hand to help my dear friend Robert Marquez for his show Dragstravaganza, so it was hard to miss me going around all night. At the end Filippo Iocco, a world known body painter, who’s now living in Barcelona, came to me and asked me if I would pose for him.
Didn’t think about it, none 1 second, was such an honor to be asked, I just said yes.
I always thought there should be more plus size girl than the usual thin model in the body painting world, was my chance to act.
And you know what, even if he was going to transform in something else, doing this body painting and photo shoot meaning exposing myself completely naked in front of him, and afterward having the picture with all my rolls out there for every one to see it.
To be honest, I love his work and I had already decided to do some naked picture, so the decision was easy, doing is not the same story.
We were waiting for good weather to come back to Barcelona, because if the painting is done inside Filippo gallery of art, the shooting is actually taking place outside on the roof, with natural light, where all the neighbours can see me. See how my stress was building up.
At the end, it was decided to do it at the end of july, and every day I was getting closer to the D day, my stress and my fears were growing.
I never showed myself naked to someone without a good reason, even less with pictures of it.
But here it was, my good reasons to do it, I wanted to show that there’s no reason to be ashamed of my fat body, that there’s plenty of kind of body and we have all the right to be seen, to be beautiful, to be art, to be !
But still, all week I was trying to find an excuse not to do it, but couldn’t do that to Filippo, so I found a way to take out my feelings and be able to do it.
At the end, my body is just envelope, a tool, an instrument, a device for an artist to express his vision.
My body doesn’t define who I am, what I can accomplished, my values, worth and abilities.
My body is part of me but in that case it’s really just an instrument.
Ok you have to use more paint for a body painting on a plus size girl, duh !
As you would use more painting on big canvas, I was going to be that wonderful big canvas.
My mind was ready, I had to come to the studio as blank as I could be for a human canvas, clean of course, no colorful nail polish, only natural, no make up, my hair in a ponytail, then bun.
I had to say that knowing Filippo is gay helped me a lot, I knew there was not going to be any inappropriate look, comments or idea coming from him. Also, he was really kind and calm, explaining me the process in advance, he even got a video for that.
So we started by the hair with a thick gel to put it in place and protect from everything Filippo was going to put on them. Then I put on some false eye lashes, and it was time get really get naked.
As I might have said earlier, Filippo Ioco studio is also a art gallery, and he just finished an erotic expo. Around me there where painting, drawing, picture, sculpture of men and women naked, exposed in there intimacy much more than I was going to be, suddenly I was not feeling so naked.
Filippo started his work on me, in fact he was actually covering me, so once again, not so naked.
Paint was cold at first, then it almost feel like a massage.
He was going really fast, concentrated on the effect he wanted to create, he was making his things like if I was his canvas, but never once he forget I was a human and when we were waiting for the paint to dry or anything he applied on me that day, we were having nice conversation as normal, he always made sure I was confortable.
I almost forget I was naked, although I was still covering my intimacy when I was going outside to let the sun dry the paint faster.
Can I tell you a secret ? Do you really want to know what was the most difficult thing that day ?
It was not getting naked, I thought about it before and knew why I was there.
It was not having a man I’m not intimate touching me, it felt like some massage or medical examination, same things when he was painting my arm or anywhere else.
It was not playing the little contortionist to have my face and arms in a good position, event if it was hard on my neck sometimes.
No, the most difficult thing was to be on all fours, with all my weight on my knees, even with pauses as mush as I wanted, just a towel was not enough.
24hours later, my knees are still hurting me a little, If I had to do that ever again, I will bring some knee pads.
After taking a really long shower to get all the paint off, flour, powder and sugar (yep I was with sugar on top he he), I started to feel different, kind of proud of myself for having doing that.
I felt like I could do anything, and in fact, maybe I can if I put my heart into it.
Sorry, no naked pictures yet. Will share the result as soon as I have them.
Might have another project more personal coming up with Filippo.
So, can you guess in what I was transformed with that body painting ?
To know more about Filippo Iocco art : iocobodyart.com